i build myself up and fly around in circles

i’ve finally decided that i’m going to refurnish my room (with new painted walls, new furniture and a cosy reading corner for me). It’s a pity that the old one has to go.

So anyway, i went on an impromptu shopping trip with qing to ikea (photoframes, cushions, hangers, meatballs etc) followed by parkway for topshop (a dress) and a pair of skinny jeans. headed to ice-cream-chef for ice-cream but it was pretty crowded so we ended up having durians at joochiat. we wound down the car windows, blasted songs like john mayer, maroon 5 and sang like we’re in a karaoke bar. we thought of new christian names for her, which proved to be draining to my brain and ended up with pearlywhite tan.

he sent me several messages today during the shopping trip, and one was particularly memorable, because i didn’t think it would have come from him (guys are natural klutz aren’t they?), i was awoken up in the middle of the night by k.WONG’s sms about running tomorrow, and i just naturally texted him if he’s back from the party, which ended up with a phone conversation till 4am. despite that, i woke up at 9am to start to spring-clean my room, later we’re doing lunch with the extended family (cos marktan can’t make it for lunch), followed by more spring-cleaning, dinner with the family & the soon-to-be family, and ice-cream trip with him later on (since he’s going to church and heading to a friend’s house for games, followed by family dinner). now, where do i fit in a running time to train?

i was wfm yesterday and my dad brought three contractors over to change the lightings at home to energy-saving light bulbs and it was such a messy affair that i couldn’t work for the whole day. but thankfully now i’ve got new and nice lights at home, which are really conducive for cosy family warmings and also reading.

he had an interview yesterday and it went really well, if it goes smoothly he’ll probably make the transition soon. met up for dinner at changi airport popeye’s, desserts at tong shui cafe and random walking around (like browsing at the bookstore for new books to get –> he shares the same reading interests) and taking the bus back at 11. we spoke a lot yesterday, about the bbq on saturday (if his friends are going to tease him if i go for the bbq gathering and all), but nett, i just feel very comfortable in his presence that i feel i don’t need to put up a front (to be the somewhat perfect person) cos there’s no such thing as one.

we spoke over the phone till 3am, and it’s amazing how things could have evolved that positively, yet at the back of our minds we don’t think we’re that lucky. we spoke of future plans (like how i wanted to relocate to another country to work, like how i want to sponsor a child via my company’s programme, like how i wanted to learn a new activity, like how i wanted to make some worthy investments etc), and he filled up every single common traits we had– he sponsors a child from world vision, he wants to relocate to another country, he’s investing for the future etc.

i woke up this morning and felt rejuvenated, cleared up some work emails and projects on-hand, and spoke to my mom about this. when i saw the smile on my mom’s face, and when she said, we can do dinner someday together, i know that was the beginning for my mom, and that was the beginning for me. to truly let go, do a free-fall. he texted me that his mom kind of ‘interrogated’ him this morning since he was hogging the phone throughout the night, and he told his mom “he found a girl that he could really talk to and really am interested in”, and his mom told him that we could do ‘yum cha’ one day–>atypical cantonese family.

he throws little surprises. me on the other hand, well, when i was at watsons getting my mom her pills, i got him the sweets that he frequently eat. 🙂 i really want to pen this down cos it meant alot to me, and you know how important they are.

‘how far will you go?’

14th Jan, the date that i’ll probably remember and recall and smile to myself. I’m having this ‘smile at my laptop screen’ syndrome that k is also having as well (his colleagues mentioned about it and so did mine). australia was good, and so was the company and nanten ramen. so was the cranberry fruit juice that we sneaked it and red globe grapes munching in the cinema. so was the conversation during the journey in the taxi and the phone conversation of 2.5 hrs that lasted till 4am. so was the morning ride to work together.

🙂 how far will i go? cartier’s print ad selling line.

“we met at 7 at somerset for the movie at 9.05 (australia). headed to cine and unfortunately the seats available were the 1st 2 rows. decided against to but ten mins later we decided, let’s just take the 2nd row, but both seats were occupied already”

it was kind of fated that we couldn’t watch it, so we had pasta followed by green tea icecream for desserts, walked around orchard and at the traffic light i saw kun, he was heading to the gym and it was kind of awkward to see him. we rushed to watsons to grab tissue packets that he needed and was just in time before the store closed. took the express bus back and stood throughout the journey but enjoyed the ride back. he walked me to my house, and crossed the dark corners of the park.

isn’t life..bittersweet?

i’ve really confused myself. one moment its hot the other it’s cold. i need a cold shower.

i told my mom this morning i was going to club rainbow in the evening.

she went “cut ribbon? where?”

:S

sometimes i feel like strangling her. but thank god she got me wanton noodles for breakfast after my morning run. i managed to go for a run at 8 when i came back home at 4! off for lunch @ downtown east with hz

And suppose I never met you
Suppose we never fell in love
Suppose I never ever let you kiss me so sweet and so soft
Suppose I never ever saw you
Suppose we never ever called
Suppose I kept on singing love songs just to break my own fall
Just to break my fall
Just to break my fall
Break my fall
Break my fall

All my friends say that of course its gonna get better
Gonna get better
Better better better better
Better better better

love love love this song qing shared in her car the other day. so quirky and sweet 🙂 Anw, i won a grand total of 50 cents over the 4hr mahjong session on saturday, but it was a smashing good time spending time with them. and tmr i’ll be heading to the office after a 7 days hiatus, and i’ll probably weep at the state of my laptop.

for the past five days:

my office laptop died on me with a blue screen. i couldn’t work for the following two days. i had bubbly and sparkling wine topped with a stuffed turkey and jelly beans. i had canele chicken stew that tasted like next door neighbour soup spoon (with a fraction of the price). i went a little cranky smiling for more pictures and shopping. i took out the old fujitsu laptop that served me well for the past 4 years and realised the last time i logged in was jan 19 2008, which was the day m departed. i clicked on old folders and files, and flipped through the many photographs we had taken, which coincidentally was the day of our breakup. i was informed that my hard disk had crashed and thereby needs 2 working days for it to be decrypted (or whatever that language was). i realized that i can’t work next monday and tuesday (no thanks to the blue screen and the possibility that my data are all gone).

but. i realised it’s like a wake-up call. like i’ve never expected myself to stumble and flip through all the pictures with the old laptop (serving well minus the weird starting up noises). I can’t guarantee that 2009 will be a smashing year, but at least 2008 is hello and goodbye. i’m off to more rounds of mahjong and hopefully i’ll have better luck there, not that i’m addicted to it.

Swimming sessions in the morning and the pool’s all yours. Dinner @ crystaljade with qing & jas, Absolutevodka dressed in xmas deco which was a xmas house party gift. 5 days to xmas with love from starbucks (edit its 2 more days)

watched yes man yesterday and it was hilarious, but kind of dumb. jim carrey has the most rubberized face i’ve ever seen on a human being, and the lead actress zooey looks so much like chloe in acrosstheuniverse movie. The next couple of days will see me pigging out on xmas lunches and dinners, and thereby i think i need to exercise a little more. And, after a 2mth hiatus, i’m back on fb. Ironic isn’t it?

 know that it might sound strange
But you made my seasons start to change
It happened so suddenly
Like heaven has waited up for me

I’ve just been looking so long
Kept meeting my Mr.wrong
In every model and every size
Now my fantasy
Is staring at your eyes

Sometimes you think I’m beautiful
But I don’t know
I’ll keep it to myself
You say it. It feels wonderful
My smile can show
I’m lost in paradise